but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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