When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
