it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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