it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Who died my cat blue again?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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