Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
