dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
