if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
A+ Viking dick
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
