Apparently you make a good broom.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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