I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
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