Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
