I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
