she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
