i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I think a kid would responsible me up
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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