And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
