u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
