Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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