I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
