I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
