Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
