im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
