My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
tell me about the eggs
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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