Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
