I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
