so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
