that's an acceptable place to lick
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
