They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
