Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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