he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
