I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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