I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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