as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
