..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
