I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
