I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
