I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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