You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My life is pants optional.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
