I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
