He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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