I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Randomize
