He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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