Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
