If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Terrible idea I love it
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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