Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
