Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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