Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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