babies were throwing up all over the place
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
