I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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