Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
we're making bets on your personal life
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
