For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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