How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm at about main and main street
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
