I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Randomize
