I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
