Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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