I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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